Where Can I Go To Buy Some Patience??

So here I sit on the day of my meeting with Lutheran Services. I can't help feeling like time has just stopped completely for me. I was excited on making the decision to move forward with adoption, but now it just seems like the process is going to take forever!!! I dread this meeting tonight as I know that the caseworker is going to see me as selfish and I don't blame her!! As I have said before, I only want to foster babies or toddlers as I will be first in line when parental rights are terminated. There are plenty of older children who need foster homes as well, but I just can't bring myself to take them. One of the main reasons for this is the horrible experience my sister in law had with fostering a ten year old. I know that most of the older children in the foster system have emotional or mental issues and I cannot take that on right now!!! If I open my home and heart to a toddler or infant, there will be more room to work with them in showing them affection, attention, and love. The older children have trust issues and some may never learn to trust again!! Another reason I would like a younger child is that I already have infants and toddlers in daycare so I am used to having them around. It's something that I enjoy and makes it that much more easier to stick to the same routine! (Must be the ADHD in me!!)

So, now the dealing with Jake part comes along!! He is leaving for his "Big Hunt" tomorrow so he chooses last night to pick his normal fight!! He doesn't want to attend this meeting on the eve of his departure as he thinks he has too much to do. (He's been packed for 2 weeks!) But, he will do it for me. The problem I have with this is that I want him to do something for him and not me! I'm so tired of hearing, "You always get what you want so what does it matter?" Or the famous, "I have sacraficed so much for you" REALLY?? What would that be? To which he has NO reply. Anyway, we worked it out for now but I am sure this won't be the last discussion on the matter. I have been told that we both have to attend training and he HATES anything that takes up more than a half hour of his time!! I told him we could postpone this meeting, but that is going to set me back 2 months as hunting season is upon us and won't be done until mid December. BLAH!!! He agreed to keep the meeting as it is but scheduling our training will be another heated issue! All I know is that the process to become licensed takes anywhere from 6-9 months and I have NO PATIENCE! So, if you could kindly direct me to the nearest patience store I would greatly appreciate it!!!!